For A Reason

A friend told me that I should start writing again. What he didn’t know was I did but simply never published my work. I guess at this point in my life, I wanted to keep some semblance of privacy. At almost 37, I didn’t feel that the world needed to hear (or read) my thoughts.

For about 5 or 6 years, I kept a blog writing about love, life, and everything else in between. I beg your indulgence. I was young, naive, and full of hope. Now, I’m old(er), skeptical, and practical about most things. Especially about relationships. 

I do miss my old self though. So here, let me try and summon my 23-year old self back. And write.

It was Feb 16 when we first met. Two days after Valentines, I was still reeling from this Hallmark induced holiday. But I guess, I felt that I wanted to meet someone new. After all, at that time it was nearly 8 months when my more than 6-year relationship just ended. And that break up was a b*tch. I have to thank my friends and family who kept me going when I felt life and love has given up on me. But like they said, time heals everything. Even the most devastating heartbreak I had in my life. But that’s another story to tell someday. 

So here we are 5 and a half months later and still dating. We still speak daily, see each other weekly, and never run out of things to talk about. It’s probably the most mature relationship I’ve had in a long time. But I’ll be very honest, it’s also the longest I’ve dated someone and not progressed in a committed relationship. 

Don’t know why. But for most of my relationships in past, it took a few weeks before we were “together.” This was different. New. Unusual. One that I have yet to understand. I guess the universe is telling me something. 

All I know is that I am nothing special. Just a man looking for meaning. And looking for a love to last. Answers to questions that the universe has yet to reveal. 

There are 7.6 Billion people in the world. That means there are about 200,000 births every day, that’s over 8,000 every hour, 138 every minute, 2.314 every second. 

106,564,353 in the Philippines. And counting. 

I’m asking for one. Just one.

That one person who will keep you looking at the world differently. That one who will remind you to be kind, humble, and honest. That one person you wake up for every morning. It may be him. It may not be. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned all this time is that I can endure. I can love unconditionally. 

For how long? Only time will tell. 

Until then, let me just enjoy life. Enjoy the time I have with him. And accept that everything happens for a reason.

I leave you this video by Moira. For those still looking for a reason.

Malaya by Moira

Love letters and idealisms by Noel Abelardo